Trust take years to Build, Seconds to Break

Prakriti is a single parent. Most of the time, she is busy doing her office work as she is General Manager of a big firm. She hired a caretaker for her 6 year old daughter Alia, who needs her mother’s time and care. But due to time constraint, Prakriti can’t do so. The caretaker instead of doing her rightful duty, is busy watching shows on Television and other things in the absence of Prakriti. It’s been 2 years now. For Prakriti, her little girl is all getting love and affection as she trust the caretaker fully. But is that so? And how did she developed that trust?

Trusting someone is not an easy task. You can’t go out there and trust every other person you meet. It takes time for that “faith” to get develop in a person after he analyse other person’s behaviour and finds it in his definition of being moral, and afterwards starts trusting him. Once “trust” develops, it connects both the persons emotionally as well, as this is the reason “why it takes seconds” to break when your emotions get hurt.

Trust is like cleaning your home. It takes a lot time to clean each and every piece of tile at the floor and corners at your home. What happens when someone comes in the room, and throw a handful of soil in the air within a fraction of second? All of your earlier efforts get wasted and you have to clean the room again, but then you know for whom you don’t have to open the door next time.

Trust is like a piece of paper, once it’s crumpled it can’t be perfect again. India’s relationship with China can be looked upon in this case. Panchsheel agreement was all for mutual peace and cooperation. India invested a lot of time of her in China. Indians even believed that, “Hindi-Cheeni Bhai Bhai”(India and China are like brothers). But that brotherhood was stabbed when China attacked India and violated Panchsheel agreement in 1962. After that, the Indian government always analyse the situations whenever they have to deal with China, for once trust is broken, it can’t be perfect again.

Trust is like an eraser, it gets smaller and smaller after every mistake. But not every time it is the fault of both the person’s involved. It might be some misunderstanding. India’s social problems like Communalism and Casteism implies to this direction. For personal benefits, handful of politicians indulge in this type of politics and give hot speeches. Both the major communities which are living from centuries on Indian mainland with trust and brotherly relations, gets affected and start looking at each other for even puny mistakes. Illiteracy also plays a big role in it, as the people fail to understand why a divide is being created between people. This all results in the breach of trust.

Trust is like a mirror. You can’t fix it once it is broken. We see the cases of dowry, violence against women in families and in extreme situations, some cases of marital rape which our law don’t yet recognize. In all these situations, it become so hard for a woman to decide whether to be morally correct and raise her voice against injustice, or just stay silent, as the so called “respect” which society have marked to stay in limits, will be lost. For how can a person live at a place where his trust is infringed regularly and respect is denied. Surely, it can’t be fixed perfectly even if the broken pieces of mirror are kept together. Because you’ll always see a crack.

However, there lies an argument which should be surely touched. We in our expectations with other people, develop high emotions which keeps on breaking even when the other person is not at fault. We tend to think the other person loves us the same way, we love him. It would be better if we learn to see people who they are, not who we want them to be. That will result in better relations and better mutual trust.

Along with this, there lies a simple logic of being correct whenever the need arises, whether we are right or wrong. When we’ve done something wrong, we should admit it and be sorry. No one in history have ever chocked to death from swallowing his pride. Because DISTANCE doesn’t separate people, SILENCE does.

Little Alia told her mother how the caretaker behaves with her when the mother Prakriti, is not at home. Prakriti have not got many options. She can remove her and hire a new caretaker, she can give caretaker another chance as she has apologized for her past behaviour. What should Prakriti do? She should just act in a way, what’s best for her daughter even if the cracks of broken mirror are viewable.

The word is a small place to live. It can be huge for the people who have trust issues. Loneliness can haunt them. It is not possible to live without healthy relations let be in the family, in friend circle or overall socially. Trust takes years to build, but seconds to break. But it might not take forever to repair, if we learn to be respectful toward others. Because a relationship without trust is like a phone with no service, and what do you do with a phone with no service? You play games.